“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” — C.G. Jung
Self-awareness and leadership success go hand in hand. We tend to have a distorted view of ourselves, and closing the gap between reality and our personal self-view is crucial. I often say to my clients, “How we see ourselves is different from how others see us.” Then I ask a follow-up question…”Which is more important?”
Understanding our impact on others leads to leadership that is more effective. As the Jung quote above aptly states, what we see in others may exist in ourselves. The annoying traits we see in another are likely to be part of own behaviors.
How do you raise self-awareness? How do you close the gap?
As an Executive Coach, I find there are three consistent ingredients to create lasting self-awareness. The first two are points of information or data gathering; the last ingredient is perhaps the most important.
Asking for feedback from others. Ironically the best way to create self-awareness is from the feedback of others. You must create a safe environment for another person to tell you want you need to hear. You must genuinely ask for their help… and as I have suggested many times before…you must only say thank you when they offer the gift of feedback.
This is hard for many people. It requires humility and vulnerability, but done well, it is a powerful way to learn about oneself.
Take some assessments. Use of some behavioral assessments will open your eyes and create awareness as well. DISC, Meyers Briggs, Birkman, Hogan… there are many options from which to choose. My clients assign a ”legitimacy” to them that are also powerful. Somehow, the computer generated feedback opens up their self-view in a different way.
Lastly…
Self-reflection incorporates the two “data” sources and begins the journey to change. You have to “take it out of gear,” slow down and think. Once you do so, the feedback and assessment results connect to create a compelling story you need to hear. During the self-reflection time, you can begin to see yourself for what you could be…a new improved self-view. Then the hard works begins: changing your behavior to match the new desired you.
Let the journey to the “new you” begin. You will be a better leader, I promise.